At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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