Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
