I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
