either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
