the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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