Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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