I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
