It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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