spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
