nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
