he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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