do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
