Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have post one night stand depression
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