we're blogging at a bar
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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