I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
