and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
