you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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