just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
