Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
