This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
