i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
