I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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