Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
