White coat. Heels.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
