Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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