Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
