i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
