If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
