its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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