We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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