So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
