whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
