So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
