Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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