we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
