You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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