dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
