pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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