My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
