I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My vagina is officially offended.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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