Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
