I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
