I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
