you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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