You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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