i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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