just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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