My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
