I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
