Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
