Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
