From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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