like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
