I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Walk of Shame today included voting.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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