Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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