i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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