the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she peed on how many people?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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