it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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