okay pat passed out under dana's car
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
