You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
