Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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