Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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